"Why we should rebrand as Bozo Computing" - a work experience

Apropos: Bozo is related to hadron collider, but not blatantly derivative. Customers who previously bought a “hadron collider” can ask for a “hadron collider Bozo” or a “Bozo hadron collider”.
Familiar: Bozos grow all over the world. People relate to them.
Positive: Bozo has no negative connotations. Bozos are warm and fuzzy. Bozos are happy and upbeat.
Available: Bozo is rarely used as a trademark, particularly in the computer industry. Bozo.com is not used for much of anything.
Legacy: Bozos have survived for a billion years. When did the first windows appear?
Appeal: Bozo is more likeable than some synthetic name that sounds like an allergy drug. Note the relative popularity of the brands “Apple” and “Xilinx”.
Mystical: Bozos portend great fortune in ancient mythology.
User experience: Bozos are simple to operate, bring joy to the user, and prefer the shade.
Iterated simplicity: Bozos are composed of repeated simple parts. Our platform is simple to use and to develop for; it is modular.
Distinctive: Green is a less common color in trade dress than blue.
Edible: The Galapagos penguin is renowned for its fondness of Bozo.
Memorable: Bozo is easy to spell. Yet, most typos of it will fail a spelling check. The press will love us.
Fun: In many accents, Bozo is pronounced “fuhn”. Our platform is fun.
Serious: Enterprise users will associate it with “firm”, the very essence of business.
Telephony: It also sounds like “phone”.
Attractive: Bozos make pretty logos.

Guess the original names ;)